This time, I had my consciousness uploaded into a computer with no Internet access!

…or not. But wouldn’t that be good? For one thing, it would mean that life-after-death via neurocybernetics is possible, which could only end with either world peace or the fiery destruction of Earth under the reign of ruthless cyborgs. I’m willing to take that risk.

So, I’ve had two weeks of university holidays and I couldn’t find the time to blog. But let’s think for a second: in a purely deterministic universe (or even an indeterministic universe ruled by quantum uncertainty), can I be blamed? Technically no, but socially yes. Let’s move on – what’s been happening that you should know about?

My good friend Kylie Sturgess (who some of you might remember as the MC of the 2010 Global Atheist Convention in Melbourne) has a new blog over at Freethought Blogs! It’s called Token Skeptic (much like her podcast) – pop it in your RSS feed readers! It seems like everyone awesome is over there nowadays, including one of my favourite podcasts, Reasonable Doubts. You should probably follow their work as well, while you’re at it.

The complete soundtrack to Portal 2 is now available for free download – that’s Volumes 1, 2 and 3 all in one package, the last of which was (finally) just released. I’ve told you about the wonders of this soundtrack before, but now you have extra incentive to get lost in bleepy-bloopy “testing” music, because Volume 3 contains the wonderful end-of-game song “Want You Gone”, written by master geek-songwriter Jonathan Coulton and sung by the best snarky AI in fiction, GLaDOS. You have no excuses, people.

If you don’t follow my Twitter account, you probably don’t realise how much of a fan I am of terrible puns, especially science-based puns. Because my brain has been inexplicably churning them out for the past few weeks, I thought I’d inflict some of them on you all. No need to thank me, I’m no hero.

  • If the world were run by chemists, they’d certainly keep an ion things.
  • A class in phylogenetics should keep your hunger for statistics at Bayes.
  • Your strawberry jam failed to set? I don’t know what you were ex-pectin.
  • You shouldn’t trust physical chemists, they’re always plotting.
  • Like dictyostelids, online fandoms often come together due to copious amounts of cAMP.
  • Whenever I have trouble staying corporeal, I wear a hereing aid.
  • When it sweats, it pores.
  • If you believe you’re the only person in the world with lung mucus accumulation problems, you’ve probably got solipsistic fibrosis.
  • Deutschland is the most pathogenic European country, according to the Germany theory of disease.
  • You know what? If a concert I was planning to attend was cancelled, I’d be rather disconcerted.
  • I was wondering why polar bears swim all the time, and then it hit me. It’s in their name: they’re hydrophilic.
  • Hmm? Do I know anything about enzyme kinetics? Well, now that you Michaelis-Menten it…

I’ll stop before you all have subdural haemorrhages – my point is made. See what you’re missing out on if you don’t follow me on Twitter?

To finish up with, I was going to link to some infuriating blog posts written by Discovery Institute entity Casey Luskin recently, but I think they can wait a little bit: there’s too much wrong with them to delve into at this stage. However, for a taste of what’s to come, here’s Steve Matheson’s take on one of those posts, over at Quintessence of Dust.

2 thoughts on “This time, I had my consciousness uploaded into a computer with no Internet access!

  1. And I already thought your consciousness travelled faster than light and missed the internet exit.

  2. was: polar bears

    And now that the climate is changing, they are becoming bipolar disordered bears. The poor creatures cannot bear it.

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